Well it began in the year of one
When Adam was the first man
And a girl called eve so we believe
Was made to be his woman

She led him up the gard
Of Eden by a tree
Then she offered him an apple
And he cried out suddenly

Where's me shirt
Where's me shirt

I feel a proper twot without me shirt
I've got me tickling tackle amd me
Nicky nocky noo
But I must confess I feel undressed
Like this in front of you

Where's me shirt
I can't find me shirt anywhere
It's twenty five past five in the Garden of Eden
And I can't find me shirt
Fancy leaving me in a garden with no shirt on like this

Look at all these creepy crawly things here
Oh look there's a serpent
Go away, gom on you nasty old serpent
Shoo, shoo

Since the days of old we've all been told
Of men like Bonapart
His first retreat and great defeat
Was the thing that broke his heart
he stuck just outside Moscow
And then made history
He stuck his hand inside his coat and cried out bitterly

Where's me shirt
Where's me shirt

I can't go on like this without my shirt
I've had my tickle tonic and nicky nocky nee
But I just can't go through all this snow
Without a shirt on me

Where's me shirt
Oh sacre blu, oh sacre fliipin' blu
Where's me shirt
By jove, tain't half frosty
Oh, oh this tent ain't half draughty
I don't know where the drafts coming from
But I know where's it's going to

Back in eighty one in the midday sun
In Tombstone one September
Wyatt Earp was due to go into
A gunfight he'd remember
The Clanton's and Mclowries started firing suddenly
As the gunsmoke cleared and the town folk cheered
Wyatt Earp said quietly

Where's me shirt
Where's me shirt

I feel aproper twit without me shirt
I've lost me tickling tackle and me nicky nocky nee
But I feel a twerp, me wyatt Earp
With me shirt shot off of me

Here where's me shirt
Where's me gunfighting shirt
Oh I say here comes the Indians
Here, be careful where you're shooting those arrows

Where's me shirt
Where's me shirt
I can't find me shirt anywhere
Do you know I'm sure I had it when I came out.

